Domestic Zen

strength and adversity

2012-02-16T18:26:00.000-08:00

When I look back over the past 6 months at how strong mykids have been I am just amazed and awed at their ability to accept change andface obstacles head on - we moved with less than a months' notice, we drovecross county in 4 days and arrived just days before school started, theystarted school living in a hotel, and then spent the next 2 months in one roomwhile workmen tore up the house, Mara took on new graduation requirements andstarting her college search over, they weathered financial strains while wepaid two mortgages, and they managed two stressed out parents on top of it all.They are amazing young women.

transitions and reinventions

2012-02-16T12:09:00.000-08:00

It rained last night and we woke to overcast skies. It was a true Northwest winter day. Except that we are in Indiana.

Today feels different. So many things are no longer hanging over us like a cloud.

Shortly after noon today the sun broke through the clouds. I had just finished a post on my garden blog about the plants and the space at the Vancouver house.

Vancouver, WA

Claiming Indiana as home will involve designing the garden space around this
house.

Indiana

There is a lot of work to do here... and I don't just mean the yard...

I volunteered at the Environmental Education Center yesterday. It's time to step out on the town. I sure hope that they are ready for me.

how the (real estate) bubble burst

2012-02-14T14:26:00.000-08:00

signed, wired, waiting - official deed transfer by 5pm 2/15

We signed on the house in Vancouver and wired funds to pay off the loans yesterday. This morning the buyer signed and the paperwork is at the lender for final approval. The deed will record tomorrow.

So, we are officially stuck in Indiana now.

I broke down when we got the offer on the Vancouver house. I LOVED that house. When we bought that house I thought that we would retire there. It was PERFECT, a three bedroom, one bath slice of urbana. We were downtown and could walk or bicycle to shops, restaurants, the farmer's market and concerts in the park.

It was the picture perfect life.

I had never thought about Indiana, in fact I might have been hard pressed to locate it on a map 6 months ago.

So, here we are.

The Dirty Dozen and the Clean 15

2012-02-09T07:29:00.000-08:00

One of the toughest changes we faced moving from the west coast was food. Not only were we leaving the food belt itself, but we were leaving the heart of the organic and buy local movement for a land that did not even have a Trader Joe's or Whole Foods Market.

Produce was a BIG issue. We faced challenges finding variety, seasonal choices and local items. Just about every item in the stores was bagged in plastic and stamped Dole, or some other large conventional producer.

Our first conscious choice was "no more Washington apples." First, they appear to be shipped green, are generally bruised, and are nothing like what we actually found in Washington. Michigan apples it is! And then we looked for seasonal.

Organic, now that's a heavy word these days. I always prefer to buy organic, but let's face it, organic can be expensive and we were now faced with a tight budget trying to manage two mortgages while the house in Vancouver sat on the market. So, I turned to the "Dirty Dozen." The Environmental Working Group publishes the "Dirty Dozen" list each year - a list of the top offenders, produce with high pesticide residue. They also publish the "Clean 15." This list is the 15 items lowest in pesticide residue. If you are concerned about chemical pesticides and synthetic fertilizers like I am these lists really help you become an informed buyer within your budget.

The other best practice is to find your local farmers market and local farms and CSAs. These days everyone should have a professional relationship with a farmer. Some of the small farms cannot afford to become certified "Organic" but you can learn a lot by talking to them about their practices, and more times than not you will find they do not spray or use synthetic fertilizers.

In the past we also grew much of our own food, especially apples, strawberries, spinach, potatoes, blueberries, lettuce, kale and collared green - some of the top items on the Dirty Dozen list. We plan to have our own garden here too.

We also eat 100% gluten free, but that is another post. Bob and Elle are celiac and Mara and I have high sensitivity resulting in anxiety related symptoms.

the gimme generation and reality

2012-02-06T06:50:00.000-08:00

Send positive energy, if everything moves forward as plannedwe will close on the Vancouver house a week from today. The first time homebuyer just needs to pull up his big boy panties and decide if he is in thegame, or if he needs a condo with training wheels. Apparently he did not realize that owning a home would have responsibilities and possibly future expenses for maintenance. Uh wow.

I wonder if he knows there will be utility bills and mommy won't be doing his laundry. SMH.

modeling and muddling do not make good teaching

2012-02-03T09:42:00.000-08:00

School conferences were last night.

It is rarely, OK never, that I find myself walking away from a teacher thinking "OMG that woman is an idiot."

Oh heck, I didn't even have to say it, Bob said it. Right before he said, "call the counselor and get her out of that class."

I asked the woman many of the same questions that I asked other teachers last night about where things were posted in the room and what to expect on homework so that we could monitor from home and support classroom learning.

She could not answer a single question about how she teaches.

I don't think she knows.

She tried to tell me she uses an inquiry model. OK, I understand that so I ask about her checks for understanding. She looks at me blankly. Apparently she just throws out an experiment, and afterwards the kids discuss it and then she tests them. I can find and print every worksheet that she uses straight off the internet.

No wonder my daughter said, "I don't know if I learned anything in there all last semester." That is a pretty strong statement from a teen.

We were trying to learn how to monitor our daughter's work to know when she needed to get additional help. Generally there is a period of instruction and/or inquiry followed by a check for understanding and then reteaching if necessary. We were trying to learn what to look for to monitor this check for understanding before assessment. All teachers I know can tell you this point, they use it to assess instruction and differentiate instruction.

And in the least, they can tell you what concepts or standards were not learned by reviewing the assessments.

She could not even tell us what concepts she was currently teaching.

The counselor told me that this teacher uses the ASU Modeling method of teaching. However, the teacher could not tell me this or explain it. This type of teaching takes significant training and practice to do well. The method is a highly effective hands on method, however it is just that - a method, not a curriculum.

And students need to understand the method and the expectations. Learning is not something that happens TO a student by accident, they must be engaged and active participants. Part of that participation is understanding the methodology.

sewer scope finds shit

2012-02-02T10:28:00.000-08:00

We have a pending sale on the other house. It was all going along smoothly until last night.

First, we are both skeptical and now suspicious of thebuyer. He had a sewer scope performed on Monday and we were not notified that itfailed until last night. At this time he also provided us with a bid, whichupon inspection is not a viable bid. The contractor used manages 400Kgovernment contracts and bid items like "mobilization" and"demobilization" as well as seeding a non-existent lawn. Thisappear to us to be an attempt to manipulate us for more money.

While this may not be his intent it appears this way andalso has severely impacted the timeline to meet the closingdate. We are likely 2 weeks out scheduling a repair at best.

We have not yet received a copy of the scope, and our call to theinspector left us distrusting the inspection completely. If the buyer asksus to take care of the sewer issue we will have the line re-scoped anduse a contractor that we select. Especially since one of the contractors we called, upon hearing who did the scope, recommended that we get another scope.

At this point we are preparing to handle the repair toput the house back on the market if necessary. The amount quoted onthe bid is not the issue, the apparent manipulation of the situation is.

It is a tough market, we get that. But what happened to good faith business negotiations.

Or maybe this guy is just a dumbshit. Or dishonest.

***** UPDATED *****

Yesterday we had two companies bid the sewer job. Interestingly, they did not find anything in their sewer scope to warrant replacing the line. They could have sold us a job, but were honest.

These companies were reputable. They performed the scope for free as part of the bid. I guess if you are a buyer and pay $165 for a sewer scope they will find something catastrophic.

One of the contractors that I called for advice (not bidding the job so nothing to gain) asked the name of the company who did the buyer's scope and upon hearing the name advised us to "get another scope."

fancy laziness and climate

2012-01-28T17:25:00.000-08:00

We learned that the garage was built in 1954.

The garage door opener was then installed shortly after its invention apparently. And last week it failed. Upon inspection there were ground up bits of gears and other artifacts.

Today Bob installed a new garage door opener. This took the better part of the afternoon. It works beautifully and is uber high tech even. It will link up with my Subaru or something.

The forecast is for snow, and his timing was perfect - he finished up as the first flakes began to drift down.

healthy options for stress relief

2012-01-27T05:25:00.000-08:00

It has been a very long past six months, and much of it came to a climax this week in the form of panic attacks and breakdowns.

I spent several hours over two days trying to calm one frantic teen having panic attacks. And talked the other down after she blew up in rage because she was so overwhelmed.

I had my own breakdown over the weekend. I think the catalyst was the pending sale of the Vancouver house. It was a huge relief, but also a significant conclusion to a very happy chapter of our life.

Things seemed calmer yesterday. Bob returned from his travels a day early and we counseled the girls about their stress. We also made doctors appointments and agreed to get a YMCA membership so that we all had a healthy option for stress relief.

I asked the girls to list the top stressors that they were feeling and got lists that ranged from boys and prom to graduation and grades, and learning how to manage money and do taxes. One of them even noted that she was concerned about me being alone.

According to an online stress calculator I am experiencing "significant" stress. It is probably pretty accurate. I have been re-reading William Bridge's Transitions, a book assigned in graduate school to the education and MBA candidates.

Stress is a real condition that requires that it be recognized and addressed. Sometimes medically, always physically and mentally with exercise and supportive talk.

And I should probably cut back from 3 pots of coffee a day.

relocation mania and depression, my emotions have gone bipolar on me

2012-01-25T17:00:00.000-08:00

Well, it is that time of year again. We are past the NewYear's excitement and passing through the doldrums on our way to spring.

This year has been a bit more depressing than usual with the relocation andall. After passing through the manic pace of the move and the chaotic frenzy ofworkmen we managed to finish off first semester, glide through the holidays andland smack in the middle of *ohmyfukingawd we live in Indiana now*

We finally received an offer on the Vancouver house and are moving towards a closingdate. This looming date magnifies the fact that we now live inIndiana, and {loud booming voice} THERE IS NO GOING BACK.

I am not admitting that I have had several daydreams about leavingBob, sometimes the children, and moving back to Vancouver. The cat is generallyriding shotgun in these adventures, she is the only one who listens to me thesedays.

No, they admit to hearing the Peanuts waa wa waa wa waa come out of my mouth, and then they laugh.

So, I blog them.

culture shock in my own country

2012-01-24T06:00:00.000-08:00

I knew that Indiana would be different from Washington.

I was prepared for the weather and the geography, and I knew there would be some adjustments in day to day life.

But I was not prepared for the culture shock we felt, and still feel, just trying to navigate the town and people. We are in the same country, in a global age, and yet I feel like I have been sucked into some remote country.

I did not realize how "west coast" I was in my philosophy and mannerisms. It is the little things. Lots of little things. And then try being "green" on top of it.

The food is different. Going to the grocery store is similar to learning my way through the markets in Italy, or any other foreign county. Not only are products re-branded, even if they are the same product, but the produce is different, cheese is ungodly expensive, and finding meat that is not injected with something is near impossible.

AND we are gluten free. We had the luxury of living a short drive from the Bob's Red Mill dedicated gluten free facility in Portland, Oregon. And now I am lucky to find any gluten free baking goods other than prepackaged mixes, or rice and soy flours. First, no one uses soy flour in gluten free baking, and with the close connection to diabetes gluten free baking tries to minimize the use of rice flours because of the sugars. I use to bake bread once a week, and now I can't find the flours.

Now, to be fair, we have discovered Schar products, which I really like because they do not use xanthan gum, and and Udi's products. However, both are terribly expensive, as much as $6 for a loaf of bread. Now, I don't know about you, but that is hard to budget. We also found Chebe products, which are very good and a great substitute for hamburger or sandwich buns, and I have also located a recipe for the traditional Brazilian Cheese bread, Poa de Queijo.

And don't even get me started on finding non-GMO products {sigh}

domestic trailing spouse

2012-01-20T17:15:00.001-08:00

While researching "(domestic) trailing spouse" Ifound "A support blog for those who chose to follow... then started tofreak the fuck out"

I think I am there.

Miss Representation - Check it out!

2012-01-18T10:21:00.000-08:00

Newest Miss Representation Trailer (2011 Sundance Film Festival Official Selection) from Miss Representation on Vimeo.

The film explores how the media’s misrepresentations ofwomen have led to the underrepresentation of women in positions of power andinfluence. Please visit the Miss Representation website to find a screeningnear you.

As the mother of daughters I am all to familiar with therole of media in their lives. It is so ingrained in their culturethat it becomes "invisible" to even them.

When the girls were younger we only had network television,primarily for PBS. At the moment we do not have any TV service. But we did haveDirectTV for a couple of years, with a DVR. As the girls entered middle schoolElle pointed out that they were at a disadvantage culturally not knowingwhat the other kids were talking about. And she was correct. I firmlybelieve that my children need exposed to media, but in a controlled andsupervised manner. We talk a lot about images, song lyrics and media hype. Wediscuss marketing, politics and "like" versus respect. Along the waymy kids have taught me a few things. I still do not like Lil' Wayne, but I nowrespect Justine Beiber.

Mara and Elle have laptops and stream their TV shows andmovies. But we monitor the viewing and have control over locking out items.Both girls have cell phones, but they do not have data plans and cannot sharephotos. The modem is turned off at night and the cell phones are put away. Insetting boundaries I teach my children how to set their own boundaries, and evenpriorities. RosalindWiseman does an excellent job of explaining the social impact of these tools in her revised introduction to Queen Bees and Wanna Bees,which I am sure I will discuss in other posts.

...center of the home?

2012-01-01T10:56:00.000-08:00

When we first unpacked the kitchen it seemed to make sense where I stored each item. But now it appears there needs to be a reorganization.

Kitchens are a really personal thing. I like a kitchen that is small, but well organized for baking and cooking. I prefer the kitchen to be separate from the dining area and believe in the formal dining space and family table. This is probably a large factor in my preference for pre-war era dated homes.

A lot of people use kitchens for entertaining. Nothing annoys me more than standing or sitting around a kitchen as the center of entertainment in a home. I think that this distracts from the importance of food preparation and the concept of the family table. These are two issues I feel strongly about in today's American culture.

We have learned to expect food to be fast and convenient at the expense of health and nutrition, and we have opted out of the family table where bonds and relationships are built and fostered.

A neighbor once asked us what we were all laughing about one evening, because they could hear us through the open windows that summer as we sat around the table, as a family.

Snail Mail January!

2011-12-30T17:42:00.000-08:00

Snail Mail January

This event is really catching on and the excitement is building as all of us 'ol skool types pull out paper and pen and put the USPO to work next month!

Every year I think about replying to all of those holiday letters. Wow! Won't that floor a few people {snicker}

Gluten Free Pancakes, Take 1

2011-12-29T16:57:00.000-08:00

Well, DD! has decided that she is going to go to college for business andmarketing with an emphasis on entrepreneurship and then go to culinary schoolfor a baking degree, specializing in gluten free baking. And then she wants toopen her own gluten free bakery.

Today she tried out her gluten free pancakes.

Gluten Free Pancakes

3 large eggs

1/2 C Teff flour

1/3 C Brown Rice Flour

1 tsp gluten free baking powder

pinch salt

1 C plus 2 Tbs cream (or gf soy cream)

2 Tbs milk (or unsweetened gf soy milk)

2-3 Tbs butter or margarine

1. Beat the egg yolks in a large mixing bowl, then mix inthe flours, gluten free baking powder, and salt and stir together. Slowly beatin the cream and milk, gradually drawing in the flours to make a thick, smoothbatter.

2. Put the egg whites in a clean bowl and beat until theyform stiff peaks. With a large metal spoon, carefully fold the beaten egg whitesinto the batter until they are thouroughly mixed in. Cover and let stand for 10minutes at room temperature.

3. Pour 1/2 C of the batter onto a hot buttered skillet. Youmay add blueberries, chocolate chips or other by sprinkling on top. Cook 2-3minutes, flip and cook 1-2 minutes more until golden.

Snow!

2011-12-09T05:34:00.001-08:00

Our first "real" Midwest snow! Pretty darn exciting for a bunch of kids from the PNW :)

attempting to fall into place

2011-12-08T11:11:00.001-08:00

‎"Don't worry about liking Indiana. Just find one or two things about where you live to like - the rest will fall into place."

1. I like that it is a lot sunnier here than in WA.
2. I like that we are close to Chicago
3. I like the house and find the renovations and garden planning exciting

...it will be easier when the Vancouver house sells and I don't have it sitting there to think about running back

How to avoid reality...

2011-12-05T05:28:00.001-08:00

I figure, if I only rarely leave the house, say only to go to Chicago, I will not notice that we are in Indiana.

Calcimine Paint

2011-12-03T19:35:00.001-08:00

Shortly after removing all of the wallpaper in the house we discovered that we had calcimine paint. I had never heard of the stuff before, so I took off on an internet quest for knowledge. Several of the posts that I read had me shaking in my boots for fear we had taken on a renovation way over our heads! And just after having the hardwood floors refinished and white carpet put down...

But let me back up a little. How did I discover that I had calcimine paint? Well, it started with a Google search for "primer slides off wall."

Oh yes, the day I finally decided to tackle the walls of the teens' study room. I tarped off the furniture, I masked, I sanded, and I started painting on the primer. I was feeling pretty good. And then I noticed the primer was sliding down the wall. I quickly skimmed the paint off the wall the best that I could, trying not to cry. I felt so defeated. I was already overwhelmed by the house. It wasn't suppose to be a project house.

My research soon informed me that we had this stuff called calcimine paint, a whitewash used around the turn of the century which contained limestone, glue binders and water. It came in a powder and was inexpensive to use for decoration and spring cleaning over coal soot near fireplaces (we have a coal fireplace). It could be applied to plaster walls before they were fully cured as well (we have lathe and plaster walls). And then I did the "spit test" rubbing the chalky substance off on my fingers "like chalk from a chalkboard" (yes, old enough to know this feeling immediately). AND modern paint will not adhere to calcimine paint.

I continued my research and found product names and recommended courses of action, and the name of a good local independent paint store. I found a blog documenting a similar renovation and contacted the blogger, who was immensely helpful.

And today we finally made it to the paint store and walked away with a plan of action. I have a paint fan on my desk and color chips spread across the floor. But before anything else I have some walls to wash with warm vinegar water. And then we can begin with the shellac primer.

And I thought the plaster repair was going to be the icky part!

This room, upstairs, is in the roughest shape. We removed a built-in from the wall and exposed a window from the original exterior, now covered after the addition of the screened porch. The walls are stripped down all the way to the calcimine paint. You can see the old solarium flooring, exposed after removing the old carpet.

Eventually this room will become the study room for Elle and Mara.

Midwest Earthquakes

2011-11-05T12:58:00.000-07:00

Putting Down Root in Earthquake Country: Your Handbook to the Central United States - 'cause you know this is what I read for fun ;)

The insurance agent thought that I was just a crazy west coaster when I asked for earthquake coverage on our policy. Well, it's cheap and we are sitting on a major fault line between two rivers. AND we have a higher chance of an earthquake than San Francisco.

Meltdown

2011-07-29T12:31:00.000-07:00

I am SO tired today.

I think that I am ready for a meltdown.

And I suspect that it won't be the last.

Uprooted

2011-07-28T12:21:00.000-07:00

Today the worm bins went to a good home.

And the houseplants went to various neighbors.

Our last move was all of 7 miles and I took cuttings and transplants and potted plants. This time we are moving 2300 miles and we cannot take plants on the truck.

And I cried.

Surreal Moment

2011-07-28T09:27:00.000-07:00

I was called for an interview today.

But they were a bit baffled that I was IN Washington state.

I had mentioned the relocation in the cover letter. And explained that we were packing.

Skype?

She never called back. I would have flown out to interview.

And I would have gone back to teaching art.

Letting go of one dream

2011-07-27T12:16:00.000-07:00

I started packing up my office today.

I spent 6 years taking classes and positioning myself for this career.

And just last year I landed my dream job. I taught Natural Resource Conservation with on sight garden and greenhouse labs. Awesome!

I began recycling my files, keeping only those files that I did not have a digital copy.

I passed on boxes of lesson plans and handouts.

And I cried.